It depends. It’s the highest highs, the lowest lows, and everything in between. And some days – or nights as this particular case is at the moment… it’s all three at the same time. I went to sleep ( or is the correct term “napped”?) in the mostly happy zone. Happy that my boy is actually excited about seeing his new school. Happy that I was able to move him there. Happy that I believe I finally found the right class situation for him.
I had horrific nightmares all nap long. Nightmares that my baby who is seven years old who STILL can’t spell his last name, still doesn’t know his phone number, still doesn’t know his address- nightmares that my baby will be seriously injured or worse if he is placed on a general education bus. The school district wants to put this child on a regular school bus instead of one with a matron who sees to it that my child will arrive safely to and from school.
I’m furious. With whom, you ask? With MYSELF. For NOT knowing that there is a section on the IEP specifically addressing special needs bussing and I didn’t push the issue at the IEP meeting because I JUST DIDN’T KNOW. I feel sick to my stomach. Again. My hands are shaking. Again. I am having palpitations. AGAIN.
I AM OPENING MY SON’S CASE. AGAIN.
Today….THAT is my autism.