What is MY autism???

It depends. It’s the highest highs, the lowest lows, and everything in between. And some days – or nights as this particular case is at the moment… it’s all three at the same time. I went to sleep ( or is the correct term “napped”?) in the mostly happy zone. Happy that my boy is actually excited about seeing his new school. Happy that I was able to move him there. Happy that I believe I finally found the right class situation for him.

And yet…
I had horrific nightmares all nap long. Nightmares that my baby who is seven years old who STILL can’t spell his last name,  still doesn’t know his phone number, still doesn’t know his address- nightmares that my baby will be seriously injured or worse if he is placed on a general education bus. The school district wants to put this child on a regular school bus instead of one with a matron who sees to it that my child will arrive safely to and from school.

I’m furious. With whom, you ask? With MYSELF. For NOT knowing that there is a section on the IEP specifically addressing special needs bussing and I didn’t push the issue at the IEP meeting because I JUST DIDN’T KNOW. I feel sick to my stomach. Again. My hands are shaking. Again. I am having palpitations. AGAIN.

I AM OPENING MY SON’S CASE. AGAIN.

fuck

Today….THAT is my autism.

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5 responses to “What is MY autism???

  1. I’m sorry. I know those nightmares all too well…
    But you know what else I know? I know that you fight like hell to get your son what he needs. You went in there and got him the placement he needed. This is just the next step. One more thing. And just like you told me to tell my friend, this is what we do as parents. We advocate for our kids. Always.
    I couldn’t think of a better mama to go in there and get it done for your son.

  2. Ditto, Mama…
    Rome wasn’t built in a day…
    This is a great learning opportunity that you are sharing with others: 1) district is held to special needs transportation – and usually once you document a concern, in writing, and request accomodations for safety reasons, the district would then be liable if they didn’t do so. 2) Only 1 IEP meeting is REQUIRED per year… Heck, you could call for one every other week if you had concerns to address.
    ;0)
    You can do this, Mama – you’ve already won so many battles!!!

  3. hugs, my friend. no doubt you’ll get what he needs.

    so glad for the new school and i have a feeling he’s going to do so well! he’s his mama’s son after all.

  4. how could you know? Who knew? They would never tell you anyhting anyway. This is how we learn. By the way we have members that can tag along to IEP meeting’s with you as your support system. They can also help advocate for you.
    Stay strong gurl!

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